Why do I cry? Why do I smile or breathe? It’s a pretty simple answer. Uh, because I’m human. Tears were flowing this weekend while I watched a best friend glow in white and begin a new chapter of her life with the man of her dreams. I reconnected old friendships and owned the dance floor in my Nike’s until the DJ packed up for the night. In these moments, I welcomed tears of joy.
Along with those beautiful moments, I also found out that my plans for this fall did not pan out. I didn’t make the cut for the graduate program that I had applied to. Of course with that news, came the feeling of failure and sadness. After I took a moment to feel and embrace being human I stood up, and realized how funny the act of making plans can be. How do I know what’s best for me? Maybe I don’t. I guess I could have studied harder for the GRE to try for a higher score or a number of other things to try to make my ‘plan’ work the way I THINK my life should go. Now, I could mope around for a while about this news, but I don’t want to live my life that way. I chose to follow the path less traveled (Read ‘The Road Not Taken’ by Robert Frost. The true meaning of this poem might surprise you). I’m writing about this not to receive sympathy, but instead the opposite. I want to be a voice to those that aren’t on the journey they expected; to feel and be surprised as we are meant to. I think that when my life stops throwing me curve balls, then I can start to plan. Fortunately, I don’t see that happening any time soon, so I’m just going to buckle up and hold on for the ride.
I cherished every moment this weekend with the bride, the groom, wedding party and friends. Looking forward to the next reunion!
East U.S. here we come!